8.3.03
freakx. almost thot my dad deleted msn...phew. *wipes sweat* somehow the msn seemed to take decades to appear at the corner panel...scared me to death. guess my guilty conscience is pricking me. wth. had a long sleep again - somehow im sleeping a lot on saturday nights. think long sleeps suck. make ppl lazy. determined to do the compo today. i must and i must do it well. decided on sth this morning during breakfast - i must learn how to detach myself when necessary. concentrate on what im doing. dont let my thots drift away to who-knows-where. study. overcome my stupid longing for school on weekends. get a life. stop indulging in miserable and senseless activities like going on msn every alternate hour. stop being foolish. stop giving unconditionally to something that will never be reciprocated and returned. think straight - and be straight. [at least try my best] sth wrong with my freaking tag. nvm. gotta start living properly. gotta be happy, yay!! a brand new me!! *sigh...self denial again* smile ppl!! :D
den* stepped on your garbage at
dad's heart is aching..as in, literally. realli worried now. feel that im totally useless...i cant help in any way in such situations. shit. so much for being the oldest child...guess hes too stressed up...partly cos of my mum. its becoming a weekend thing. wth. jy - the thing u said abt bringing ppl closer tgthr has not been proven so by my parents yet. wth wth wth. when will this come to an end? cant go pasarmalam. due to unexpected consequences - aiyah, in other words my dad's condition. nvm. no fret. its fine. i'll go tml evening. the pasarmalam wont run away without me right? ha~ yash. called you. ur maid answered. and she started blabbering dunno wad...and i think she seriously thot i understood. oh well, so i hung up on her. hahahha. wth...not on purpose of cos..i didnt noe wad to say right...even if i said sth, she'd onli answer back in a 'native tongue'..haha ...[sounds familiar?]. ya. so heck. o dear. dun tell me my dad's heart and blood pressure is on the rise due to the 'discovery' this morning? o man..but actualli im quite positively sure that he didnt find out anything. but still, im wondering wheres the blardee neoprint. sian.
you're my pillar of strength - your every word and action affects me...you decide whether i'll crumble and fall or to be strong and happy. lately, my only thought is you...
den* stepped on your garbage at
had guides today. im realli proud of my sec 1s...yay!! :) they're such fast learners and to think they could learn marching on the spot in just a mere half an hr...its not just learning it...but doing it really well. hehehehe. way to go kidz~ starting to take a liking for them...oh no..denise wong...you're supposed to be someone who doesnt fancy juniors at all!! haix. cant be helped...have suddenly developed this feeling of closeness to them...kinda love them now. oh dear....y the sudden change of attitude? i dunno. ok la, i think i do like them. ive broken BOTH my biggest NO-NOs...
i) will never like a friend in that way
ii) will never like juniors [in any way possible] =|
failure. *sigh* guess ppl do change, and as life goes along..one has to make several adaptations? haha...okay la, broke both the rules. too bad. cant do anything abt it.
sth major happened this morning...and im still dreading it. my sis and dad were searching for my phonecard in my wallet this morning while i was still in bed - cos i insisted on bringing the hp to sch so my sis had to bring the phonecard...and apparently during their search, they discovered sth -- the neoprint taken with hsien xian and dorothy. DEEP shit! when my dad said, "oh, i put in 10 dollars in ur wallet" ..i was like "oh-oh.." and rushed to my wallet...and...when everybody left, i realised that the neoprints werent there anymore?!?! i searched high and low and pulled out everything from my wallet but couldnt find it!! wth lor...i dunno where it is now...mebbe my dad took it....mebbe. mebbe not. but i hope not. he'd be disgusted with me, for being so dishonest and being sucha bitch. nvm...but he hasnt mentioned anything yet. YET. hope he'll never ever say sth. imagine how embarassing and how im going to answer him.....oh man....d.e.a.d m.e.a.t. so dead. i mean, ive been in a gers school since pri 1...so where the hell does a guy pop out from?! will juz say its doro's brother. the thing is, i dont like him..as in, i dont have a crush on him or sth...and its not as if he's my bf...but my family will still kick up a big fuss...maybe....cos im not even supposed to have guy friends. so, im STILL in the wrong. and im such an idiot. so was in such a frustrated mood this morning that i lost my appetite for breakfast and stormed outta the house. thk goodness the lovely sec 1s brightened up my day - oh well, the more disobedient ones didnt turn up..so mebbe thats why they seem excpetionally nice today...ha!
den* stepped on your garbage at
7.3.03
wheee!! just came home from holland v...nice feeling...relaxed....lovely. :D thks doro and yash for going with me..haha..last minute decision...supposed to eat ice cream but didnt..oh well, still enjoyed myself. :) forgot abt wad happened in the morning already - its another of my petty stuff...im petty. yes, and i cant stand even the smallest things...i mean, of cos in relation to things that are impt to me. im an over-sensitive freak. *sigh*...aniwae im human. so i feel. so wth...just forget it. getting used to coming home late nowadays...its fun...the thot of lazing ard and let time fly past....and going home and slacking...and not doing work. how i wish life could remain like this. aniwae..tan tze yong was in an ultra bad mood today..wth...felt so horrible cos wad he said seemed to reflect a lot of my mistakes? haha...haix, nvm...he's always pmsing..haha...womanish. sad - life's so sian all of a sudden. dunno wad to say.
den* stepped on your garbage at
6.3.03
just realised that im realli harsh to someone....im such a moron mann, im onli realising my mistakes now. really sorry for wadever ive said in this blog...i didnt mean to hurt you when i say some bad stuff...sometimes its just on a moment of impulse or im selfish and stupid. ya, im s.e.l.f.i.s.h. and mean. i feel too much, its not sth excusable - too much care on my part becomes something bad - destructive passions. idiot~ [ sorry! im the idiot, not you kiez? :( ] im realli realli apologetic. still friends ya?
den* stepped on your garbage at
tired. past few days very exhausted...cant seem to find the cause of the lethargy though. its not that i dun have sufficient sleep or sth..it's just mentally drained. my neck hurts, everytime i yawn it hurts. i think i kinda over-yawned or sth..haha..thats y its like overstretched or sth?! oh well, wad nonsense. but it hurts. its not my throat - its my neck! how absurd. disappointed with my ct marks. shit....cant remember if i studied for them actually...seems like ages ago....but i remember putting in effort for certain subs...and the thing is, i didnt realli score for those i put in effort?! hmm....somehow the whole thing went heywire. heck. two more pps to collect back. im fearing for physics. damn it...i hope i do well. my scs are all shit...but i know that phy cant have much hope either. ferget it. had a great laugh with daphne on our way home...and guess wad? forgot to press the bell again. 3rd time now. luckily we didnt need to walk back cos the driver stopped for us at the traffic junction. ha. reason for missing the stop? distraction - thoughts - talking - thought someone else would press the bell and get down at the same stop. but as usual, i was more alert than daphne. daphne didnt even realise that we missed the stop?! okiez...guess she cant survive without me on the bus, ha! okiez, wadz wrong with me, getting egoistic. k, best, my maid had to come in and remind me of my horrid ct results..cos i wrote them down on this paper on my table..and she had to rub it in. fine...and she kept asking whether it was the highest marks and all that..cmon mann...and just this phrase, "study harder la!" totally pissed me off. argh....i tried kiez..i tried lor. wth. study study study...its not the end of the world right?
den* stepped on your garbage at
4.3.03
okiez, last night..some ppl spoiled my mood. but that's okay cos today kinda compensated for it. was so freaking tired throughout all the lessons..right from first period. so..was struggling to stay awake...even during recess and lunch...how abt that mann. aniwae went to sc centre after sch. yes..rox...i've got spare time on friday for the sec 1s...and perfect arrangement....eulindra didnt even come to sch! woohoo!! :) was elated. realli elated. aniwae, the yoghurt thingy was so pathetic that no yoghurt came out in the end..and it was so similar to the bread making workshop last year i think....same concept just that using yoghurt. okiez.....sian...but still quite fun la. laughed and laughed..duno y..but laughed so loudly once that the whole world looked at me. kiez..best. was so embarassed. plus the woman had to direct her qn at me deliberately cos i was laughing, and obviously not paying attn. reason for the exceptionally loud laugh: was suppressing the laugh for quite a long time then thks to yash, i had to burst out laughing. so malu. k...then was forced to take the simulation ride....congrats jiayi...you managed to 'persuade' me into it. =| aniwae..it wasnt that scary in the end..was quite retarded. haha. then went through the whole sc centre exploring stuff....since it's free right..haha..ya...quite funky. and yash..im still wondering.....aniwae had ice cream date with yash and jiayi...yay!! finally had our ice cream date..and the guy at macs...cant blive this but the name on his nametag was "TAIZI"....god!! wonder if it's real lor....erbx...and he's a far cry from taizi....ok.....no comments. took bus 66 home...jy and i were wondering whether we took the right bus the whole time...i mean, the busdriver looked so blur when we asked him....so....thk goodness we were on the right track in the end. got home - 6:10pm. wow....hafnt gone home so late for sucha long time!! i like that feeling. did a maths. nono. its half done..
AH!!!!! this freaking dunno wad insect ...sth like a moth...flew near me!! OMIGOD!!! yux!! it touched my arm!!!! ahhhh!!!! gross!!!! eeeeee...it flew behind the monitor...freakx!!!!! *malu cos i let out a disgusting cry*
den* stepped on your garbage at
3.3.03
in quite a pleasant mood now...so whoever's out there...pls do NOTHING to spoil my mood. :) i like the idea of being happy. to smile. to laugh. why cant everyday be like that? hmm....food for thought. lalalala..nothing to say. sch was okay today...laughed like mad during chi lesson with shumin...hmmz...ya...we talked a lot of crap. and thks to that..kenna suan by ms chia AGAIN. again kiez...haix. nvm. i think there's this big change in ms chia..she's all of a sudden so lame in wadever she says..much more open...much more...friendly? and mebbe thks to that change in attitude, she has taken a liking in making fun of me. erbx...how nice..haha. im getting quite used to it nowadays...it's getting to be a routine. *shrugz* i still like her very much though. will probably blog later. if sth more interesting happens.
den* stepped on your garbage at